August 27, 2025

This week, we had the privilege of learning from Eric, a seasoned engineer, who has also spent the past six years immersed in positive psychology and Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Eric shared how NVC has transformed the way he connects with his family, colleagues, and teams. His mission is simple yet powerful: to teach empathy, both as a mindset and as a skill.

Eric began with a question: What is the number one characteristic of effective teams?

The answer comes from Google’s well known Project Aristotle: psychological safety. In high performing teams, people feel safe to offer ideas, ask questions, and admit mistakes without fear of embarrassment, punishment, or being labeled ignorant. Psychological safety is as essential as physical safety. It creates trust, sparks creativity, and fuels motivation. At its core, psychological safety is built on empathy. When people feel heard and understood, they feel safe.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is about connecting with yourself and others with warmth and compassion. Eric explained that every action and word is an attempt to meet a human need. Needs are universal conditions for thriving such as freedom, movement, understanding, and belonging. Strategies may differ, but the underlying needs are shared. This is why conflicts often arise: we mistake strategies for needs. By focusing on needs, we can find common ground.

During the workshop, we practiced exercises using empathy poker, designed to help us recognize needs and feelings. By slowing down and listening for the needs beneath someone’s words, we can empower others with choice and understanding. The exercise asked us to recall a challenge we had overcome and to share what we said or did to move through it. This exercise highlighted how clarity about needs can shift perspective and lead to deeper understanding.

Participants described the experience as one of slowing down and being fully present. Many spoke about how they gained a new vocabulary for needs and feelings, which helped them feel more understood while also gaining insight from others. The practice revealed that communication is not just about words, but about our deep human interconnection.

Eric encouraged us to take empathy one step further. Instead of only listening to what someone is saying, we can try to see how they are seeing themselves. Empathy, we learned, is not about getting it “right.” It is about staying with the other person. Developing a vocabulary of needs and feelings sharpens our ability to connect, and by supporting another person’s self understanding, we help build trust and safety.

Most importantly, empathy is a tool to slow down. In a fast moving world, pausing to listen deeply to ourselves and to others is one of the most powerful ways we can support connection.

Hope to see you at our next workshop!